My Girlfriend Makes Me Want To Be

I Feel Like Every First Episode Of A Tv Show Is Bad, You Know, And It Always Improves.

I Spent All Night Feeding The Homeless To Dogs.

I'm Trying To Teach My Girlfriend How To Surf. But I Just End Up Yelling At Her The Whole Time. Because I Don't Know How To Surf.

I Would Write 100 Jokes A Day. Most Of Them Were Terrible. But I Just Said, 'i'll Write More Than Everybody Else, And That's How I'll Get Better.'

Jeff Ross Has Been Roasting People Since Whitney Cummings Was Nothing But A Glint In The Eye Of The Man Who Raped Her Mother.