My Forte Is Awkwardness.

Hookers Don't Like To Snuggle.

I Am Going To Be The Next Ryan Gosling.

You Know You Have A Drinking Problem When The Bartender Knows Your Name -- And You've Never Been To That Bar Before.

My Girlfriend Looks A Little Like Charlize Theron...and A Lot Like Patrick Ewing.

I Think Those Neighborhood Signs That Say 'slow Children Playing' Are Mean.