My Favorite Unknown Movie Is 'the Comic.'

I've Retired So Many Times Now It's Getting To Be A Habit.

Somebody Asked What I Wanted On My Gravestone. I'm Just Going To Put: 'glad I Could Help.'

Once I Got A Job Singing And Dancing, A Reasonable Person Might Think, "maybe I Should Learn How To Do This." But No, I Never Did.

I Found Out Retirement Means Playing Golf, Or I Don't Know What The Hell It Means. But To Me, Retirement Means Doing What You Have Fun Doing.

Only Funny Line I've Had Was My First Day On The Set Of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. They Were Making Me Up, And I Saw The Director Call The Makeup Man Over, And He Says "what Are We Going To Do About The Hooter?" And The Makeup Guy Said, "i'm Not A Plastic Surgeon." So I Started That Show With A Big Nose, And Quite Conscious Of It.