My Favorite Animal Is Steak.

By The Time Everyone Catches Up With You, You're Bored.

In The Soviet Union, Capitalism Triumphed Over Communism. In This Country, Capitalism Triumphed Over Democracy.

A Dog Who Thinks He Is A Man's Best Friend Is A Dog Who Obviously Has Never Met A Tax Lawyer.

There Is One Thing That Has Disappeared, Not Just From The U.s. But From The Entire World, Is The Idea Of Ever Being Embarrassed By Anything.

When I Saw A Phone On A Plane For The First Time, I Panicked ... I Thought People Were Going To Call Me.