My Comedy Is Romanticized Laziness.

I Personally Have No Interest In Being A Star Or A Celebrity. I Want My Stand-up Comedy And How I Think As A Comedian To Be Recognized And Successful.

I Think I Have A Lot Of Voices In My Head And I Guess My Inner Critic Is A Female.

I Love Sleep. I Need Sleep. We All Do, Of Course. There Are Those People That Don't Need Sleep. I Think They're Called 'successful.

They Always Give You Three Ketchup Packets. When You Go Back Up And Ask For More, The Guy Handing Them Out Always Treats You Like You're Taking From His Personal Stash. "looks Like My Kids Aren't Having Ketchup Tonight."

As A Dad, You Are The Vice President Of The Executive Branch Of Parenting. It Doesn't Matter What Your Personality Is Like, You Will Always Be Al Gore To Your Wife's Bill Clinton. She Feels The Pain And You Are The Annoying Nerd Telling Them To Turn Off The Lights.