My Acting Technique Is To Look Up

I Went To A Shrink Once, But I Caught Him Going To A Fortune-teller So I Quit.

One Night I Went Over To Get Some Dope From Some Hollywood Tough Guy. After I Left, My Son Scott, Who Was Only Fifteen, Went Over With A Baseball Bat To Kill Him. I Was Laughing Out Of One Eye And Crying Out Of The Other. I Thought, Who Am I Kidding?

My Kid Was A Great Baseball Player. I Thought I Had It Made. Front-row Seats At Yankee Stadium. Then He Turned Sixteen And Wanted To Be A Rapper.

What I Do Quite Honestly And Seriously And Not In Any Way Being Humble Is Not As Important As What The Garbage Collector Does. People Make Actors Important.

No Matter What Heights You Achieve, Even If You're Brad Pitt, The Slide Is Coming, Sure As Death And Taxes.