Most Republicans Are Against Contraception Because They

I Think Everyone's Afraid Of Public Speaking. There Have Been Times Where I've Come Out Of My Own Show And Been Like, 'oh, God, What Am I Doing?' . . . You Have To Remind Yourself That 'ok, I'm Kind Of A Badass. I Can Handle It.'

I'll Tell You What Can Make Bacon Better... Nothing.

It Always Freaks Me Out When I Go To A Sushi Place And There's A Mexican.

Next To Fat Babies, Midgets Are My Favorite Things To Hold. I Love Them So Much, And I Want To Help Them To Do Adult Things Like Drive Cars, Jet-ski, And Lip-synch. I’m In Awe Of Their Little Limbs, Their Large Craniums, And Their Medicine-ball Asses. I Love The Little Baby Steps They Take While Shifting Their Weight From Side To Side, And The Fact That When You Knock One Over Accidentally, He Flails Like A Turtle On Its Back That Can’t Get Up Right Away.

Another Thing I Take Issue With Are People Who Take Their Dogs On "play Dates," Or Even Worse, People Who Choose To Dress Their Dogs Up In Outfits Better Suited For Homosexuals Participating In A Gay Pride Parade. Dog Costumes Are Right Up There With Something Else I Find Particularly Offensive: Sweater Vests.