Men Don’t Realize That If We’re Sleeping

Along With The 97 Percent Of Women Who Can See, I Have Never Been A Fan Of Redheaded Men.

I Had To Feign Interest In All This Nonsense Until I Could Ask When I Could Come Over And Sit On His Face. I Didn't Say That Out Loud, Of Course. I Never Say The Things I Really Want To. If I Did, I'd Have No Friends.

If You Can't Trust Your Coke Dealer, Who Can You Trust?

If Someone Took The 'f' Letter Off Me, I'd Be Ucked.

My Relationship With My Father Had Been On The Proverbial Fritz Since The Time I Was Fifteen And Called The Police To Report Him For Child Molesting. He Had Never Molested Me, But I Wanted To Have A Party That Weekend And Needed Him Out Of The House.