Mitt Romney Had A Horse Competing In

And Now The Really Difficult Part: We Have To Rebuild Iraq Into A Strong And Independent Nation That Will One Day Hate The United States.

President Obama Is Going To Take Two Weeks To Unwind, As Opposed To President Bush, Who Never Wound.

The Winner Of The Westminster Dog Show Gets To Drink Champagne - Out Of The Toilet.

The Mars Polar Lander Has Been Quieter Than George W. Bush After A Foreign Policy Question.

I Don't Mind Being Accused Of Being A Bad Comedian And I Don't Even Mind Being Accused Of Being A Bad Talk-show Host, But I Never Want To Be Accused Of Being An Arrogant, Pompous Showbiz Asshole.