Men Lie The Most. Men Lie All

When You Meet Somebody For The First Time, You're Not Meeting Them. You're Meeting Their Representative.

The Thing I Try To Get Across To The Writers - And I Do A Lot Of Writing, Too - Is That When I Do Stand-up, Nothing I Talk About Is Funny. Everything Is Really Sad And Tragic And Then I Make It Funny.

Here's What I Knew About Doing A Play: I Knew It Would Make Me A Better Actor.

I Ain't Shootin' Nobody. So Call Me A Faggot! When The War's Over, I'll Be The Faggot With Two Legs, Thank You!

Comedy Is A Group Activity, A Verbal Orgy.