Men Date. Women Have Relationships.

I Can't Tell My Conscience From My Insecurities.

Where's My Tax Form? Where's The File That's Supposed To Hold My W-2 Form And Interest Statement? Where's The Mileage Log I Specifically Asked Be Kept Last Year?? Where's The Monthly Check Summary? And Who's Been Stuffing Visa Receipts In The Aluminum Foil Drawer??!! How Embarrassing. I'm Surrounded By Idiots And I'm The Only One In The Office.

Now I'm Searching For A Slightly Overweight, Single, Childless Woman Who Doesn't Have A Date And Isn't Too Depressing To Be Around. It's Getting Harder To Find A Girlfriend Than A Boyfriend.

I've Found It's Better To Talk To The Machine And Hang Up If I Get The Person.

The Specific Story Line That People Have Responded To The Most Has Been The Horror Of Bathing Suit Shopping.