Men Are Liars. We'll Lie About Lying

I Have Way Too Many Commitments. I Get Pulled In Too Many Directions And I Never Seem To Be Able To Satisfy Anybody. People Get Turned On By Knowing A Celebrity, Even My Friends And Family. They Feel That There's Something Exciting About Me, But In Reality There's No Substance To It. People In Airports Just Hold On To Me Expecting Something And It Seems That I Always Come Up Empty. It's Frustrating Because I'm Trying To Please Everybody, And Ya Just Can't Do That ... At Least I Can't.

A Guy Knows He's In Love When He Loses Interest In His Car For A Couple Of Days.

If You Don't Decide Where You're Going, Life Will Decide For You.

I'm Sad For Adults Who Want To Be Children. And Children Who Want To Be Adults.

When Somebody Tells You They're Not Very Smart, They're Saying Exactly The Opposite.