Martha Stewart Is Getting Out Of Prison

Mayor De Blasio Wants To Eliminate Garbage. He Believes New York City Produces Way Too Much Garbage. Well, Heck, Forget About Producing Too Much Garbage. What About Late-night Talk Shows?

Sunday Is The Academy Awards. Every Time An Actor Says, 'i Didn't Expect This,' Ruth Bader Ginsburg Will Do A Shot.

The Russian Economy Is Tanking. It's Gotten So Bad That Today Vladimir Putin Had To Pawn His Stolen Super Bowl Ring. And Putin Will Finance His Next Invasion On Kickstarter.

Here's My Problem. On Valentine's Day The Flowers Are Wilting And So Am I.

I Vote Democrat Because I'm Way Too Irresponsible To Own A Gun, And I Know That My Local Police Are All I Need To Protect Me From Murderers And Thieves. I Am Also Thankful That We Have A 911 Service That Gets Police To Your Home In Order To Identify Your Body After A Home Invasion.