Marriage Is Better Than Leprosy Only Because

Scotch Needs Water Like A Fish Needs A Bicycle.

I Certainly Do Not Drink All The Time. I Have To Sleep You Know.

Thou Shalt Not Take The Name Of The Lord Thy God In Vain Unless You've Used Up All The Other Four-letter Words.

I Cook With Wine, Sometimes I Even Add It To The Food.

My Daughter Wants To Throw A Stone At A Bad Man. I Stop Her From Throwing, Shaking My Head And Giving Her A Little Slap. My Disapproval Is Complete. You Think: 'that's Right, She Shouldn't Throw A Stone Even At A Villain.' Then I Hand Her A Brick To Throw.