Making My Family Laugh When I Was

Dear America, When You Tell Gay Americans That They Can't Serve Their Country Openly Or Marry The Person That They Love, You're Telling That To Kids Too. So Don't Be F**king Shocked And Wonder Where All These Bullies Are Coming From That Are Torturing Young Kids And Driving Them To Kill Themselves Because They're Different; They Learned It From Watching You.

If You Take A Shower With Your Boyfriend, I Guarantee By The Time You Step Out Of That Shower, Your Breasts Will Be Sparkling Clean.

This Is Aids. Aids Is As Real As An Egg.

We Don't Live In A Democracy; We Live In A Hypocrisy.

All Comics Want To Be Musicians. There's A Part Of Me That Wants To Be A Serious Musician. I Love Songs About Heartache And Heartbreak.