Lottery: A Tax On People Who Are

Laughter, N. An Interior Convulsion, Producing A Distortion Of The Features And Accompanied By Inarticulate Noises. It Is Infectious And, Though Intermittent, Incurable.

Hog, N. A Bird Remarkable For The Catholicity Of Its Appetite And Serving To Illustrate That Of Ours. Among The Mahometans And Jews, The Hog Is Not In Favor As An Article Of Diet, But Is Respected For The Delicacy And The Melody Of Its Voice. It Is Chiefly As A Songster That The Fowl Is Esteemed; The Cage Of Him In Full Chorus Has Been Known To Draw Tears From Two Persons At Once. The Scientific Name Of This Dicky-bird Is _porcus Rockefelleri_. Mr. Rockefeller Did Not Discover The Hog, But It Is Considered His By Right Of Resemblance.

Expostulation, N. One Of The Many Methods By Which Fools Prefer To Lose Their Friends.

Observatory, N. A Place Where Astronomers Conjecture Away The Guesses Of Their Predecessors.

History Is An Account, Mostly False, Of Events, Mostly Unimportant, Which Are Brought About By Rulers, Mostly Knaves, And Soldiers, Mostly Fools.