Wine, Madam, Is God's Next Best Gift

Clairvoyant, N.: A Person, Commonly A Woman, Who Has The Power Of Seeing That Which Is Invisible To Her Patron - Namely, That He Is A Blockhead.

Eloquence, N. The Art Of Orally Persuading Fools That White Is The Color That It Appears To Be. It Includes The Gift Of Making Any Color Appear White.

Pain, N. An Uncomfortable Frame Of Mind That May Have A Physical Basis In Something That Is Being Done To The Body, Or May Be Purely Mental, Caused By The Good Fortune Of Another.

Applause, N. The Echo Of A Platitude.

Apothecary, N. The Physician's Accomplice, Undertaker's Benefactor And Grave Worm's Provider