Los Angeles Is The Home Of The

I Like To Think Of Myself As The Middleman Between Fred Allen And Henny Youngman.

I Gave My Wife A Twenty-five-dollar Gift Certificate. She Used It As A Down Payment On A Mink Coat.

Experience Is What You Have After You've Forgotten Her Name.

Most Attorneys Practice Law Because It Gives Them A Grand And Glorious Feeling. You Give Them A Grand - And They Feel Glorious.

A Man Is Hit By A Car While Crossing A Beverly Hills Street. A Woman Rushes To Him And Cradles His Head In Her Lap, Asking, Are You Comfortable? The Man Answers, I Make A Nice Living.