Life Is Made Up Of Sobs, Sniffles,

If There Ever Was An Aviary Overstocked With Jays It Is That Yaptown-on-the-hudson, Call New York. Cosmopolitan They Call It, You Bet. So's A Piece Of Fly-paper. You Listen Close When They're Buzzing And Trying To Pull Their Feet Out Of The Sticky Stuff. "little Old New York's Good Enough For Us"--that's What They Sing.

A Holiday In A New Dress—can Earth Offer Anything More Enchanting?

Bohemia Is Nothing More Than The Little Country In Which You Do Not Live. If You Try To Obtain Citizenship In It, At Once The Court And Retinue Pack The Royal Archives And Treasure And Move Away Beyond The Hills.

In Time Truth And Science And Nature Will Adapt Themselves To Art. Things Will Happen Logically, And The Villain Be Discomfited Instead Of Being Elected To The Board Of Directors. But In The Meantime Fiction Must Not Only Be Divorced From Fact, But Must Pay Alimony And Be Awarded Custody Of The Press Despatches.

Hospitality In The Prairie Country Is Not Limited. Even If Your Enemy Passes Your Way, You Must Feed Him Before You Shoot Him.