Lesbians Have Never Been More Popular.

President Bush Announced That The War In Iraq Has Been Won. It's All Over, It's Been Won. I Believe This Would Be Bush's First Uncontested Victory.

George W. Bush Has A New Campaign Slogan: "a Reformer With Results." I Don't Know What It Means [but] I Think It's Better Than His Old Campaign Slogan: "a Dumb Guy With Connections.

You All Know Newt Gingrich. Newt Is Short For Newton. People Say If That's The Case, What Is Mitt Short For? It's Short For 'mittens.'

Howard Dean Was Endorsed By Former Vice President Al Gore And Now He Is Getting Advice From Al Gore. And I'm Thinking, Who Better To Give Advice Than The Guy Who Couldn't Even Get Elected With The Most Votes?

They Found A Cave Once Lived In By Osama Bin Laden And The Only Thing In The Cave Were Some Boxer Undershorts, And Macaroni. I'm Telling You, You Add An Old Stack Of Playboys, This Could Be My Place. It's Like I Have A Twin.