Lesbians Have Never Been More Popular.

Vladimir Putin Said The Tanks That You See Rolling Through The Streets Are Just Part Of The Closing Ceremonies Of The Olympics.

The White House Has Announced That They No Longer Recognize Fox As A News Organization, Which Puts Them About Eight Years Behind The Rest Of Us.

Bill Murray Is On The Show Tonight. Next Week I'll Be Goggling 'foods That Improve Prostate Health.'

Welcome To The Program. My Name Is Dave Letterman, And Tonight I'm Giving My Two-week Notice.

I Wouldn't Give My Troubles To A Monkey On A Rock.