I Got My Lips Chewed Off By

Ted Cruz Could Be President Of The United States. If You Thought The Secret Service Was Drinking Before

Someone Did A Study Of The Three Most-often-heard Phrases In New York City. One Is "hey Taxi." Two Is "what Train Do I Take To Get To Bloomingdales?" And Three Is "don't Worry, It's Only A Flesh Wound.

According To A New Survey, People Who Get Divorced Die Early. People Who Stay Married Live Longer. The Difference Is They Just Wish They Were Dead.

Here's Some News From Afghanistan. We're Sending More Troops To Seal Up The Borders. Can We Try That Here? Three Months, 12,000 Pounds Of Bombs And Billions And Billions Of Dollars And The Highest Ranking Enemy We've Captured So Far Is An American.

Don't Kid Yourself. Global Warming Is No Joke. Here's How Serious Global Warming Has Gotten To Be In The United States. In This Country Global Warming Is So Bad, We Are Now Actually Starting To Warm Up To Barry Bonds.