I Got My Lips Chewed Off By

Senate Minority Leader Harry Reid Says He Will Not Seek Re-election. Harry Said He Wants To Spend More Time With His Family. As I Always Say, Check With Your Family.

The Ayatollah In Iran Says He Believes That He Got The Letter, But He Thinks He Accidentally Threw It Out With His Crate & Barrel Catalog.

John Kerry Told Tom Ridge He Was Too Busy To Receive A Homeland Security Briefing. I Thought That Was Odd, Since You're Not Supposed To Ignore Terrorist Threats Until After You Become President.

The Pope Also Said That While He's In Town He Would Like To Go See 'the Book Of Mormon.'

Now There Are Reports That Osama Bin Laden Would Like To Commit Suicide On Television. This Is The Kind Of Lead-in I Have Been Praying For Every Since I Came To Cbs. Bin Laden Is Planning A Televised Suicide Or, As I Call It, Hosting The Academy Awards.