Leno, Conan. They Are Both Really Funny.

Sandler's Always Good. Tom Hanks Gave Me Some Good Advice.

This Week, A 95-year-old Woman Married A 98-year-old Man To Become The World's Oldest Newlyweds. They're Registered At Bed, Sponge Bath And Beyond.

Joe Biden Went To Brazil In An Effort To Try And Repair America's Relationship With Their Government. Biden Said, 'it's Great To Be Here In The Amazon. I've Always Wanted To See Where All The Books Come From.'

Arizona Senator John Mccain Announced That He Plans On Running For A Sixth Term Because He Is Concerned About The Nation's Security. He Plans To Help Just Like Any Other 80-year-old: By Sitting On His Porch With A Police Scanner.

There Are Reports That Leaders From Isis And Al-qaida Met At A Farm House In Syria Last Week, And Agreed To Work Together Against Their Common Enemies. That Story Again: Two Radical Terrorist Groups Managed To Do What Two American Political Parties Cannot.