Learn All The Rules... Then Break Them.

Guns Don't Kill, People Do.

My Idea As Far As Comedy Goes Has Always Been To Push The Limits Of What's Acceptable For A Woman To Do Or Say Or Be. My Hero In That Would Be Lenny Bruce, Who Teaches Us That Words Have No Meaning. It's The Intent Behind Them That Is What's Important.

They Are Preserving The Sanctity Of Marriage, So That Two Gay Men Who've Been Together For Twenty-five Years Can't Get Married, But A Guy Can Still Get Drunk In Vegas And Marry A Hooker At The Elvis Chapel! The Sanctity Of Marriage Is Saved!

As A Standup, I Try To Change The World. As An Entertainer, I Try To Entertain. And As A Lesbian, I Try To Pick Up The Prettiest Girl In The Room.

My Mother Said To Me, 'why Do You Have To Call Yourself A Dyke? Why Can't You Be A Nice Lesbian?' 'because I'm Not A Nice Lesbian, I'm A Big Dyke.'