Learn All The Rules... Then Break Them.

Guns Don't Kill, People Do.

Never Point At Anything Beige And Call It Cool.

As A Standup, I Try To Change The World. As An Entertainer, I Try To Entertain. And As A Lesbian, I Try To Pick Up The Prettiest Girl In The Room.

What Do You Mean, You "don't Believe In Homosexuality?" It's Not Like The Easter Bunny, Your Belief Isn't Necessary.

My Mother Said To Me, 'why Do You Have To Call Yourself A Dyke? Why Can't You Be A Nice Lesbian?' 'because I'm Not A Nice Lesbian, I'm A Big Dyke.'