Lawyers Are Predators In Grey Worsted

Descartes' Immortal Conclusion Cogito Ergo Sum Was Recently Subjected To Destruction Testing By A Group Of Graduate Researchers At Princeton Led By Professors Montjuic And Lauterbrunnen, And Now Reads, In The Shorter Harvard Orthodoxy: (a) I Think, Therefore I Am; Or (b) Perhaps I Thought, Therefore I Was; But (c) These Days, I Tend To Leave That Side Of Things To My Wife.

Among The Gods, There Is A Dispute As To Which One Of Them Originally Thought Of Christianity; Or, As They Call It, The Great Leg Pull. Apollo Has The Best Claim, But A Sizeable Minority Support Pluto, Ex-god Of The Dead, On The Grounds That He Has A Really Sick Sense Of Humour. How Would It Be, Suggested The Unidentified God, If First We Tell Them All To Love Their Neighbour, Pack In The Killing And Thieving, And Be Nice To Each Other. Then We Let Them Start Burning Heretics.

There Is That Within A Man That Drives Him Ever Onwards, Just As The Power Of The Seasons Drives The Roots Of Flowers Into The Hard Earth; And So He Decided, Against His Better Judgment, To Open His Eyes And Find Out What Was Going To Happen To Him Next.

I Don't Read The Sunday Papers; Or The Dailies, Either

At Any Given Time, Ninety-nine-point-nine-five Per Cent Of The Human Race Are A Confounded Nuisance