Jobs That Require A Suit Upset Me.

Figure Out What You Love To Do, Then Figure Out How To Get Paid To Do It.

Being A Man Of The Theater And A Hedonist, I Find The Idea Of Building Coffins Very Romantic.

I Grew Up Among Farmers In Illinois And So You Always Have To Have The Tools You Might Need In The Eventuality Of A Flat Tire Or A Broken Window.

I'm Opposed To A Lot Of The Time That We As A Civilization Have Come To Spend Looking At Screens. For My Money, Life Is Much Delicious Damn Near Everyplace But Inside That Screen.

The Key, I Would Say To Any Fledgling Humorist Starting Out, Is To Make Sure That Sloppiness Is Part Of Your Recipe. That Way They Come To Expect Fumbling And Clumsiness And They Say, "oh, It Must Be A Charming Part Of His Personality."