I Learned As A Young Man That

I Feel It's Important To Point Out That I've Earned My Humility By Being A Jackass - Like, I Trip And Fall On My Face And Say, "oh, Right. Don't Think You're A Big Shot, Because You've Got A Bloody Nose Now." So It's Hard To Say.

I Learned As A Young Man That I Don't Write Jokes, But That I Can Deliver More Mundane Material And Get A Laugh. I Call Myself A Humorist.

I Just Always Had A Penchant For Performing For People.i'm A Jackass Clown.

I Have A Wonderfully Hedonistic Appetite, And If I Wasn't Really Strict With Myself, I'd Weigh 300 Pounds. I'm Not Good With Moderation.

I Grew Up Among Farmers In Illinois And So You Always Have To Have The Tools You Might Need In The Eventuality Of A Flat Tire Or A Broken Window.