Jesus Forgives Sinners, Not Criminals.

Tv's Tony Snow Becomes The White House Press Secretary. How Will He Make The Difficult Transition From Fox News Reporter To Republican Apologist? ... Mr. President, It Is Time To Hire The Folks Who've Never Let You Down. Limbaugh At Health And Human Services. Hannity At State. Then Give Rummy The Medal Of Freedom And Install Bill O'reilly As Secretary Of Defense. Only Problem, You Might Find Yourself Invading Vermont. And I'll Replace Chertoff At Homeland Security. The Man's Done Nothing To Control The Bear Population.

There Is No Food Closer To My Heart Than Cheese. In Fact, According To My Doctor, It Has Nearly Filled My Aorta.

It's The Way Our Founding Fathers Would Have Wanted It, If They Had Founded Corporations Instead Of Just A Country.

Nothing Reassures Parents More Than Surrounding Their Kids With The Kind Of Guys Who Have A Lot Of Weapons And Nothing To Do On Weekdays.

I've Been Accused Of Being Unambitious, But What I Do Takes Up Every Minute. I'm Executive Producer, I'm A Writer And The Host.