I've Got A Hockey Record, I Took

I Wish I Was A Better Athlete. That Would Have Been A Little Cooler, Being A Great Boxer And Walking Into A Room And Going: "i Can Knock Everybody Out!" That's A Good Feeling.

If A Girl Breaks Up With Me, I Want Her To Just Die, Just Be Dead. Not 'cause I Hate Her So Much As It's Just Easier For When My Friends Go, 'hey, What Happened?' 'oh, She's Dead. I'd Still Be With Her, But She's Dead. What Can I Do? She Was Loving Me, But She's Dead.'

When I Was Kid, Yeah, My Family, My Parents Wanted Me To Marry A Jewish Girl Because That Was What They Taught Their Children, And Thought It Would Be An Easier Life For Me To Raise A Jewish Kid. And I Have A Jewish Wife, I Have A Jewish Kid. They Seem Pretty Happy About It.

My Father Used To Wear The Same Pants For Like A Week.

I Still Get Very Scared When I Step In Front Of A Live Audience.