I've Been A New Yorker For Ten

The Only Really Good Vegetable Is Tabasco Sauce. Put Tabasco Sauce In Everything. Tabasco Sauce Is To Bachelor Cooking What Forgiveness Is To Sin. The Next Best Vegetable Is The Jalapeno Pepper. It Has The Virtue Of Turning Salads Into Practical Jokes.

When You Think Of The Good Old Days, Think One Word: Dentistry.

I Remember Thinking Cocaine Was Subtle Until I Noticed I'd Been Awake For Three Weeks And Didn't Know Any Of The Naked People Passed Out Around Me.

Zen Martini: A Martini With No Vermouth At All. And No Gin, Either.

We Need A Government, Alas, Because Of The Nature Of Humans.