I've Always Liked Older Ladies, Ever Since

I Don't Laugh At Me. I Used To. I Used To Get The Giggles When I'd See Myself. But Now, I See Myself Onscreen, And I Sure Don't Laugh.

When The Kids Are Laughing In The Audience, I Tear Up, I'm So Happy I Did A Nice Thing.

He Has A 5 Year Plan... What Is It, Don't Die?

I Grew Up Cursing A Lot.

One Night I Couldn't Sleep. It Was Like 2:00 In The Morning. I Was Thinking, 'what Can I Do?' I'm Watching Tv. I'm Like, 'let Me Do Something Else.' I'm Not Going To Fall Asleep For A Few Hours. What Are My Hobbies? There Was The Masturbation Option. I Skipped That Because Just Knowing My Kids Are Down The Hall I Felt Psychotic. So, I Went With Watching More Tv. I Couldn't Come Up With Anything. I Was Going, 'god, Read A Book.' Then I Was Like This, 'where Do I Keep The Books?' I've Got Nothing To Do But Watch Tv.