I've Always Dreamed Of Growing Up To

Telling Me To Relax Or Smile When I'm Angry Is Like Bringing A Birthday Cake Into An Ape Sanctuary. You're Just Asking To Get Your Nose And Genitals Bitten Off.

A New Poll Reveals That 56% Of Americans Believe That Wal-mart Is Bad For The Country, While The Other 44% Work There.

Prince Harry This Week Toured The Jersey Shore With New Jersey Governor Chris Christie. It Was The First Meeting Between The Prince, Of The House Of Windsor, And The Governor, Of The House Of Pancake.

Stop Whining About Getting Old. It's A Privilege. A Lot Of People Who Are Dead Wish They Were Still Alive.

I Believe Great People Do Things Before They Are Ready.