It's Not Enough To Say I'm Sorry.

The Pursuit Of Happiness: It Sure Seems To Like A Good Chase, Doesn't It?

I Have A Time Machine At Home. It Only Goes Forward At Regular Speed

I'm So Secretive That When Someone Asks Me, Hey, Can You Keep A Secret? I Say That's None Of Your Business.

Overheard Today In Restaurant: Can You Stop Listening To Our Conversation?

I Saw A Sign That Said, 'watch For Children.' I Was Like, 'that Sounds Like A Fair Trade - Especially If They're Crappy Kids.'