It's Like The Fouth Of July In

I'm Not Sexist, I'm Just A Realist.

We're All Animals, That We All Respond To The Same Stimuli. If You Want To Motivate Somebody Not To Have Premarital Sex, Or Motivate Black Bears Not To Go Diving Into Dumpsters, First You Have To Think About Why They Do It. Telling Them To Stop Isn't Going To Help. There Has To Be Some Incentive For Them To Alter Their Behavior.

No, I Had Not Read Any Other Comedian's Book. Not That I Don't Enjoy Other Comedians; I'm Just Not A Reader.

Everything Seems Overwhelming When You Stand Back And Look At The Totality Of It. I Build A Lot Of Stuff And It Would All Seem Impossible If I Didn't Break It Down Piece By Piece, Stage By Stage. The Best Gift You Can Give Yourself Is Some Drive--that Thing Inside Of You That Gets You Out The Door To The Gym, Job Interviews, And Dates. The Believe-in-yourself Adage Is Grossly Overrated.

I'm A Doofus From The Valley, A Blue-collar Guy.