It's Like The Fouth Of July In

The Reason Why You Know More Funny Dudes Than Funny Chicks Is That Dudes Are Funnier Than Chicks. If My Daughter Has A Mediocre Sense Of Humor, I'm Just Gonna Tell Her, "be A Staff Writer For A Sitcom. Because They'll Have To Hire You, They Can't Really Fire You, And You Don't Have To Produce That Much. It'll Be Awesome."

Millions Of Guys Play Millions Of Basketball Games Every Day Of The Week At The Playground Or The Ymca. But Lebron James Gets $20 Million A Year Because He Can Jam On All Of Those Guys. We're Always Going To Want To See Lebron And Kobe Go At It.

If In 1989 I Said, 'i Have An Idea: Bottle Water And Sell It. And Charge More Than A Beer,' They Would Have Chased Me Around With A Giant Butterfly Net. The Same With Paying To Watch A Television Station.

I'm Not Sexist, I'm Just A Realist.

All Tv Is, Is Really: 'don't You Want To Be This, Aren't You Glad You're Not That.' There's Nothing Really In The Middle.