It's Kind Of Fun When You're Playing

Me And Conan O'brien And Robert Smigel And Dana Carvey Wrote A Script Called 'hans And Franz: The Girlyman Dilemma,' And It Was Going To Be Co-produced With Arnold Schwarzenegger, And He Was Going To Co-star In It. We Had A Deal With Sony, We Got Paid To Write It, And It Was A Musical, But It Never Got Made Because...i Think Arnold Kind Of Backed Out At The Last Minute Because He Was Getting Cold Feet Because ;the Last Action Hero' Had Come Out, Where He Was Parodying Himself. But It Was A Really Funny Script, And I Wish It Could've Seen The Light, Because I Think It Would've Done Really Well.

When I Was Very Young, I Didn't Really Write My Own Material. I Just Memorized Other Peoples' Jokes. Established Comics, Like Stanley Myron Handelman And People Like That. And Then, For Every Comic, You Develop Your Own Style After A While.

I Never Really Got Into Marketing. I Went To School For It, But Never Pursued It Once I Got Out. Instead, I Went To Europe For About Two Months, Just Traveling Around In Youth Hostels And Eurail Trains With My Friends.

I Remember The First Date I Ever Went Out On. It Was In High School. Her Name Was Marguerite. She Was Kind Of A Heavyset Girl... I Took Her Out On One Date. We Went Out For Dinner And A Movie And A Dinner.

I Tried To Read The Bible, I Did, But It Always Felt Like A Much Less Awesome Lord Of The Rings.