It's Hard To Get Laughs When You're

I Am Extremely Square And Obedient In Nature!

I Got A Fan Letter On The Back Of A Prison Menu. And I Remember Thinking, 'well, They Get Pie. It's Not So Bad. They Get Pie On The Weekends.' I Want To Say Blueberry And Also A Boston Cream Pie. Not So Bad.

You All Have Got To Stop Calling Each Other Sluts And Whores. It Only Makes It Okay For Guys To Call You Sluts And Whores.

President Bush Gave A Rousing Speech To The United Nations General Assembly. Afterward, In A Touching Show Of Support, Every Foreign Dignitary Shook Hands With The President And Smiled Warmly As He Mispronounced Their Names.

Sometimes You Want To Have A Very Productive Saturday To Feel That You Are In Control Of Your Life, Which Of Course You Are Not.