It Would Hurt My Feelings If I

You Have An Advantage If You Win. I Always Think It's Best To Be Remembered As A Winner Rather Than As The Runner-up. It's Definitely More Fun Getting The Gold Than It Is The Silver.

We Felt The Time Was Right To Open Up The Boundaries, And Say To All Of America, Regardless Of Your Age, Whether You're 2, Whether You're 100, Regardless Of What You Believe Your Talent Is - Juggling, Magic, Singing - This Is The Show You Can Enter. It's As Simple As That.

When I Was Young And We Got Caught Pinching Apples, We Got A Smack From The Local Policeman. Today If That Happened He Would Be Sued. There Is A Tendency To Punish The Victim, Not The Criminal. If Someone Broke Into My House Or My Mum's House, I Worry That The Burglar Has More Rights Than Me.

Anything I Shouldn't Laugh At Makes Me Laugh.

The Minute You Start Assuming That The Audience Is Very Happy To See The Same Show Again, You're Dead.