It Was The First Time I'd Ever

Mostly I Dream About Being With You Forever.

It Will Be As If I'd Never Existed. The Words Ran Through My Head, Lacking The Perfect Clarity Of My Hallucination Last Night. They Were Just Words, Soundless, Like Print On A Page. Just Words, But They Ripped The Hole Wide Open, And I Stomped On The Brake, Knowing I Should Not Drive While This Incapacitated. I Curled Over, Pressing My Face Against The Steering Wheel And Trying To Breathe Without Lungs.

You Should Have Seen His Face When I Started Taking My Clothes Off. Priceless.

I Wondered How Long It Could Last. Maybe Someday, Years From Now.if The Pain Would Decrease To The Point Where I Could Bear It.i Would Be Able To Look Back On Those Few Short Months That Would Always Be The Best Of My Life.

And Then, As The Room Went Black, I Was Suddenly Hyperaware That Edward Was Sitting Less Than An Inch From Me. I Was Stunned By The Unexpected Electricity That Flowed Through Me, Amazed That It Was Possible To Be More Aware Of Him Than I Already Was. A Crazy Impulse To Reach Over And Touch Him, To Stroke His Perfect Face Just Once In The Darkness, Nearly Overwhelmed Me. I Crossed My Arms Tightly Across My Chest, My Hands Balling Into Fists. I Was Losing My Mind.