It Sucks Being Fat, You Know.

At 'price Is Right,' People Feel So Safe There And Loved. And If You Can't Jump Around On 'price Is Right,' Then You Can't Jump Around Anywhere, You Know?

I Loved The Old Stories In National Lampoon, Like The Original Story The Movie Vacation Was Based On. I Used To Laugh At Them Until I Cried.

I See My Face In The Mirror And Go, 'i'm A Halloween Costume? That's What They Think Of Me?'

I Love The Normalcy Of Cleveland. There's Regular People There.

The Difference Between Las Vegas And Atlantic City Is The Difference Between Getting Conned By A Beautiful Call Girl And Getting Mugged By A Crack Head.