It Really Drives Me Banana Sangwich.

We're All Gonna Lie, We're All Gonna Cry, And We're All Gonna Take Painful Shits.

I'm In A New Club, By The Way. And I Don't Know If You're First Timers Like I Am, But I'm In The 'i Just Dropped My Cell Phone In My Own Piss' Club. Have You Done That? Yeah, Good Times. I'm On The Phone And I Forget That I'm Using Shoulder Technique. Urinals Were Taken So I Went In To Use The Regular John. And As I'm Standing There, Mid-conversation, I'm Like 'are You Serious?' And It Just Started To Toboggan Right Down My Powerful Chest.

When I Have A Really Hot Date At A Show, I Definitely Make It A Point To Use Her Name. The Girls Really Love That.

I'm A Late-night Guy.

You Are The Director Of Your Own Life Story. Don't Cast Idiots Or People Will Walk Out During Your 2nd Act.