Introduction - A Social Ceremony Invented By

Representative, N. In National Politics, A Member Of The Lower House In This World, And Without Discernible Hope Of Promotion In The Next.

Neighbor, N. One Whom We Are Commanded To Love As Ourselves, And Who Does All He Knows How To Make Us Disobedient.

A Less Popular Name For The Second Person Of That Delectable Newspaper Trinity, The Roomer, The Bedder, And The Mealer.

Funeral: A Pageant Whereby We Attest Our Respect For The Dead By Enriching The Undertaker, And Strengthen Our Grief By An Expenditure That Deepens Our Groans And Doubles Our Tears.

The Hardest Tumble A Man Can Make Is To Fall Over His Own Bluff.