Inanimate Objects Can Be Classified Scientifically Into

Unpleasant Questions Are Being Raised About Mother's Day. Is This Day Necessary? . . . Isn't It Bad Public Policy? . . . No Politician With Half His Senses, Which A Majority Of Politicians Have, Is Likely To Vote For Its Abolition, However. As A Class, Mothers Are Tender And Loving, But As A Voting Bloc They Would Not Hesitate For An Instant To Pull The Seat Out From Under Any Congressman Who Suggests That Mother Is Not Entitled To A Box Of Chocolates Each Year In The Middle Of May.

There Was Scarcely A Woman Alive, It Seemed, Who Could Resist The Urge To Haul Men Down Onto Beds, Car Seats, Kitchen Floors, Dining-room Tables, Park Grass, Parlor Sofas, Or Packing Crates, Entwine Warm Thighs Around Them, And Pant In Ecstasy.

Notice, For Example, That People Who Talk About "the Joys Of Childhood" Are Always Adults. Only An Adult, Utterly Remote From The Reality Of Childhood, Could Suppose It Is Time Of Joys.

Children Rarely Want To Know Who Their Parents Were Before They Were Parents, And When Age Finally Stirs Their Curiosity, There Is No Parent Left To Tell Them.

An Educated Person Is One Who Has Learned That Information Almost Always Turns Out To Be At Best Incomplete And Very Often False, Misleading, Fictitious, Mendacious - Just Dead Wrong.