In Point Of Morals, The Average Woman

We Think Of The Noble Object For Which The Professor Appears Tonight, We May Be Assured That The Lord Will Forgive Any One Who Will Laugh At The Professor.

You Can Never Have International Peace As Long As You Have National Poverty.

We Can No Longer Communicate With The Apes By Direct Language, Nor Can We Understand, Without Special Study, Their Modes Of Communication Which We Have Long Since Replaced By More Elaborate Forms. But It Is At Least Presumable That They Could Still Detect In Our Speech, At Least When It Is Public And Elaborate, The Underlying Tone Values With Which It Began. Thus If We Could Take A Gibbon Ape To A College Public Lecture, He Would Not Understand It, But He Would "get A Good Deal Of It." This Is All The Students Get Anyway.

About The Only Good Thing You Can Say About Old Age Is, It's Better Than Being Dead!

I Detest Life-insurance Agents: They Always Argue That I Shall Some Day Die, Which Is Not So.