In An Attempt To Make Things Easier

That Turned-up Collar. The Jacket That Zipped All The Way Down The Front Into A Nice Fitted Shape. The White Denim That Made My Untanned Skin Look Like A Color.

We're Gonna Promote Freedom. Usher In Democratic Values And Ideals. And Fight Terror-loving Terrorists.

There Is No One Of-woman-born Who Does Not Like Red Lobster Cheddar Biscuits. Anyone Who Claims Otherwise Is A Liar And A Socialist.

One Afternoon A Girl Walked By In A Bikini And My Cousin Janet Scoffed, “look At The Hips On Her.” I Panicked. What About The Hips? Were They Too Big? Too Small? What Were My Hips? I Didn’t Know Hips Could Be A Problem. I Thought There Was Just Fat Or Skinny. This Was How I Found Out That There Are An Infinite Number Of Things That Can Be “incorrect” On A Woman’s Body.

I Don't Live The Single Life And Never Really Did.