I'm Very, Very Jealous Of Guys Who

In A Perfect World, My Tennis Game Gets Better. I Have Kids And A Beautiful Wife And Live On Some Hill Somewhere That's Not In Los Angeles. And The Script That Tom Hanks Just Barely Turned Down Gets In My Hands.

The Funniest Thing Is When Somebody Says "look I've No Idea Who You Are But My Friend Said You Are On A Show And I Just Wanted To Introduce Myself" You Know That They Are Lying! Those People Can Just Get Out Of My Way.

I'm Glad That Life Isn't Like A Christmas Song, Because If My Friends And I Were Building A Snowman And It Suddenly Came Alive When We Put A Hat On It, I'd Probably Freak And Stab It To Death With An Icicle.

I Used To Believe In A "ms. Right", But Now I Know There Is Like 4 Million "ms. Rights" And It Is Just A Matter Of Which One You Meet First.

I Became A Big Kings Fan, And Then Later On My Hometown Of Ottawa Got A Team, So Then I Was Very, Very Torn. I Just Love Both Of Those Teams Very Much.