I'm So Secretive That When Someone Asks

When I Stub My Toe It's Like I Pressed A Button That Plays All The Curse Words I Know.

When People Show Me Pictures Of Their Kids, It's Okay. But When I Give Them A Picture Of Me, To Show To Their Kids, I'm Weird. What Kind Of One Way Street Is That?

Don't Talk To Strangers. Sure, Unless You Want To Meet Anyone Ever.

Yes, Okay, It's Cool To Be Quirky, Maybe, On The Side. Do Some Puzzles, Make Puzzles, Whatever, Learn How To Ride A Unicycle. That's Cool When It's On The Side And You Have A Plan. What Happens When You Remove The Plan? What You're Left With Is A Guy Who Likes To Do Anagrams. And Doesn't Have A Job... Sweet, That's A Catch.

There Is A Small, But Important, Difference Between Peeing In The Pool, And Peeing Into The Pool.