I'm Sad For Adults Who Want To

I Had A Very Easy Time Loving An Audience. But When It's One-on-one With Somebody, All I Wanted To Do Was Run Away, Because Maybe They're Going To Want Something From Me I Can't Give, Or They're Going To Hurt Me.

I Think There's A Percentage [of The Audience] That Don't Realize, That Don't Know That [standup] Is How Everything Began. We Planned It, We Work Hard, Rehearsals To Get This. It's More Of A ... It's Not Just Coming In There In A T-shirt And Holding A Microphone.

I'm A Pretty Solid Christian. But Even As An Altar Boy, I Was Always Asking The Bigger Questions--you Know: If God Is, In Fact, Good, What Is All This Death I See? And If God Is Gentle, What Is All This Suffering I See? I've Found Some Of The Answers In Eastern Religion. It Explained My Christianity To Me. Good And Evil Are The Same Thing. You Can't Have One Without The Other. It's The Balance, It's The Temperance Of Things.

My Stepfather Stepped In Where No Man Would've Stepped In - Six Kids, Five Of Them Boys - And That's Heroic.

I Blend Memories. I Blend Them Into One That's Funny. I Exaggerate To Clarify.