I'm Sad For Adults Who Want To

I Have A Thing For Tools.

I Was Gone So Much In My First Marriage. I Love The Moments When I Engage With My Youngest Daughter Now. It's Not My Thing To Sit On The Ground And Play Tea Party, But I'll Do It Because It's A Moment That Will Stick With Me Forever.

I Think There's A Percentage [of The Audience] That Don't Realize, That Don't Know That [standup] Is How Everything Began. We Planned It, We Work Hard, Rehearsals To Get This. It's More Of A ... It's Not Just Coming In There In A T-shirt And Holding A Microphone.

Comedy Is The Ultimate Anarchist.

Being Wealthy When No One Else Is, Is Like Being The Only One At The Party With A Drink.