I'm Not Turned On, So Put Away

I Can Bake. I Made Myself Some Nice French Fries Once. But Otherwise I Just Eat Out. Lots Of Salad Bars.

I Volunteered At Ucla's Occupational Therapy Ward, Where There Are Lots Of Kids With Autism And Emotional Problems. I Just Wanted To Prove To Myself That I Could Not Break Down And Cry At Everything, And That I Could Just Help Somebody Else. The One Thing I Really Remember Was That When We Would Take Them Out Of The Hospital For A Walk Around Campus, They Would Freak Out The Most When We Were Waiting For The Elevator. I Remember The Guy At The Elevator Said To Himself, "transitions Are The Hardest." And I Said To Myself, "transitions Are Always The Hardest."

I Just Want To Feel Everything.

I Caved In To What People Wanted Me To Do. I Thought That They Weren't Going To Like Me If I Didn't.

When I Was A Kid--10, 11, 12, 13--the Thing I Wanted Most In The World Was A Best Friend. I Wanted To Be Important To People; To Have People That Understood Me. I Wanted To Just Be Close To Somebody. And Back Then, A Thought Would Go Through My Head Almost Constantly: "there's Never Gonna Be A Room Someplace Where There's A Group Of People Sitting Around, Having Fun, Hanging Out, Where One Of Them Goes, 'you Know What Would Be Great? We Should Call Fiona. Yeah, That Would Be Good.' That'll Never Happen. There's Nothing Interesting About Me." I Just Felt Like I Was A Sad Little Boring Thing.