I'm Not Freakishly Short. I Had, On

My Dream Was Maybe Someday, One Night I Can Be A Guest On A Talk Show, And Then I Will Have Achieved Everything I Want.

I Haven't Ever Found Any Great Writing On That Wonderful And Often Unappreciated Art Form, The Insult.

I'm Not The Guy With The Enormous Comedy Nose Or The Big Feet Or The Bad Posture Or The Whatever; A Physical Comic Has Certain Things.

The Authority Of Depression Is Horrifying. I Felt Like My Brain Was Busted And That I Could Never Feel Good Again. I Really Thought That I Was Never Gonna Heal.

It's Lamented That The Youth Get Their News From Jon Stewart And Stephen Colbert. It's Lamentable That They Get More From Them Than From The News.