I'm Not A Vegetarian, But I Eat

Each Morning When I Open My Eyes I Say To Myself: I, Not Events, Have The Power To Make Me Happy Or Unhappy Today.

When You're In Jail, A Good Friend Will Be Trying To Bail You Out. A Best Friend Will Be In The Cell Next To You Saying, 'damn, That Was Fun.'

I've Been Looking For A Girl Like You - Not You, But A Girl Like You.

Most Young Women Do Not Welcome Promiscuous Advances. (either That, Or My Luck's Terrible.)

My Mother Loved Children - She Would Have Given Anything If I Had Been One.