I'm Not A Person Who Carries My

Well, The Big Story -- Hillary Clinton Will Be Running For President In 2008. You Know Why I Think She's Running? I Think She Finally Wants To See What It's Like To Sleep In The President's Bed.

I Looked Up The Word Politics In The Dictionary, And It's Actually A Combination Of Two Words: Poli, Which Means 'many,' And Tics, Which Means 'bloodsuckers.'

It Really Kind Of Looks Like Now That John Kerry Is On His Way To The Presidential Nomination. The Only Thing That Can Sink John Kerry Now Is An Al Gore Endorsement.

Saddam Hussein Has Raised The Amount Going To Suicide Bombers From $10 Thousand Dollars To $25 Thousand. What's Next, A Health Care Plan?

It Looks Like Rudy Giuliani Is Out Of The Race. Finally, A Republican With An Exit Strategy.