I'm Not A Person Who Carries My

Hundreds Of Barefoot Filipinos Marched On The Roads Through The Philippines Carrying Heavy Wooden Crosses And Whipping Their Backs Until They Bled To Prepare For Easter. Call Me Old-fashioned But I Just Like Coloring The Eggs.

The White House Has Now Released Military Documents That They Say Prove George Bush Met His Requirements For The National Guard. Big Deal, We've Got Documents That Prove Al Gore Won The Election.

You Could Do Anything In Your Room At College. You Could Smoke Pot, Live In A Coed Dorm, Have A Girl. But You Couldn't Have A . . . Hot Plate!

The Obama Administration Has Revealed The Size Of America's Nuclear Arsenal. We Have 1,000 Warheads Aimed At China, 1,000 Aimed At Russia, And The Rest Aimed At Fox News.

We Ought To Thank President Bush. He Made It A Lot Easier For People To Do Taxes This Year. No Job, No Income Tax This Year.